the Big Idea
by succedissidor
Summary: Matt and Mello again? No way! Matt and Mello are Not Having Sex. Why Roger! What are you thinking? They're just innocent, angelic children. Warning: non-traditional writing style and slash that isn't.


I have this… thing… for Matt and Mello. It will not go away.

.

.

_I sit like a whore and I look like a dog, and_

_Thirteen is twenty percent of sixty-five._

_~Sky Ice Cream, Wobinidan_

.

.

**The Big Idea - Crackpot History and the Right to Lie**

They were NOT having sex, definitely not, unless Matt missed something important. They weren't even _experimenting_, for chrissake, (although being thirteen year old boys who shared a room and were together at least ninety percent of the time, they would be pretty much justified) and exactly where Roger got the idea in the first place Matt could not even guess. Well, he could guess, and it was a good guess, and it was almost definitely the right guess. No one else had the inclination- or the guts, Mello'd have put anyone through the wall if they'd thought of this on their own, and anyway, people didn't _start_ rumours about Mello. Oh, they spread them alright, like wildfire and jam, but they didn't start them. And yet… the rumours always _got_ started.

Mello liked excitement, and he'd take it any way he could get it.

So here they were in Roger's office, and Matt's ears were the colour of his hair, and Mello was perched next to him making the "Perfect Angel" face that fooled no one (but seemed to work, how was that?) and Roger was glaring at them, torn between embarrassment and anger, and extolling the virtues of abstinence, and barring that, condoms. Matt wanted to interject, to tell the truth, to STOP HIM oh god now he was not going to demonstrate was he? And Mello is GLOWING with amusement, he has to be loving this, because nothing detracts from _his_ image. Oh, lucky Mel the unstoppable only looks cooler because of all the weird shit he does (or says he does) and Matt will be the one taking the fall today, and probably forever. And yet, here he is.

Matt finally cannot take it any more, and will deal with the repercussions of interrupting Mello's current amusement later. He holds a hand up, palm out, not able to bear the thought of hearing his own voice at the same time that Roger is saying "Penis." The caretaker pauses, his expression caught between surprise and irritation (and Matt wonders if he ever has just one expression, not colored by another, but then there's always that underlying exasperation and so it makes sense that it would show through on his face…) Matt realizes that he's been zoned out, Roger's expectant eyebrows and Mello's oh-so-slight smirk creeping into the corners of his vision. They're waiting to see what he will say, and he suddenly doesn't really _know_ what to say, but he is really really glad that at least Roger has stopped talking. And then, like he always does, Mello jumps in and takes over. And like he rarely does, he plays dumb.

"Oh, Roger! This has been ever so informative, and I'm sure, we've both learned so much. But surely you aren't implying… you don't think…?" Matt has to clench his eyes shut not to look, because if he sees Mello's face right now he will lose it, and then Roger will never take them seriously, and that will put a damper on harassing him, and Mello would be angry- but right now the blond has allowed Perfect Angel to falter and has presented Bewildered And Somewhat Taken Aback, and Quite Innocent. It's one of Matt's favourite expressions, it is so effective, and he's going to have to perform in a moment, and he has to push down his mortification and his laughter and go along with whatever Mello is planning. _Game face, Matty, you can do it, just wait for the cue. _Mello goes on. "We haven't… we never even thought… me and Matty? Together?" and he does such a wonderful job morphing from confused to speculative, Matt thinks he should give up his detective aspirations and move to Hollywood. Time to shine. Deep breath, go!

Matt tilts his head up a bit, peeks at Mello, letting a bit of confusion run across his face. Mello returns the look, appraising, and it isn't even difficult for Matt to blush right on cue. The right corner of Mello's mouth quirks just the tiniest bit, his only tell, and Roger is looking dumbstruck (yet still half anger, because he doesn't know yet if he is being toyed with, and it drives him crazy.) There is the slightest airiness to Mello's voice when he speaks again, a lack of focus that should indicate that he is thinking Very Hard about something, and can no longer be bothered with the current situation. "Thank you Roger, but I'm sure we've both been very good boys. Of course we haven't been doing anything like _that_, I had never even thought about it. But thank you so much for this lesson. Come on, Matty. We have… homework." Matt feels the blush all the way to his collarbone now, and when Mello grabs his hand and drags him toward the door he is so relieved that he almost misses Roger's face.

Horror, mixed with anger.

.

.

a/n: RUNONSENTENCES. Semi stream-of-consciousness from Matt's POV is pretty much my favourite way to write, ever, if the last few posts I've made are any indication. Drop me a line if you have any comments/critiques/want to see more, although I will probably continue with this anyway. I want to know how it turns out, although I know the last sentence of the whole shebang, I wanna see what happens in between.


End file.
